A Medium’s Journey to Embracing Spirit

Gina Strole

Copyright © 2019 Gina Strole Cover Photo Credits: Gina Strole (Girl in Light) and @JWvein (Trees) Cover Design Credit: @∆lek

Published by: Big Moose Publishing PO Box 127 Site 601 RR#6 Saskatoon, SK CANADA S7K3J9 www.faythompson.com/bigmoose

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the nature of the Internet, any links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. The publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The author's intent is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event, you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN: 978-1-7752300-5-2 (sc) Big Moose Publishing 11/2019

To my student, Michelle, Thank you for letting me see the magic of spirit through your eyes.


ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ........................................................................... i     

WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK .................................................................... 1                                                            

AM I CRAZY?............................................................................................ 5                                                                                              

THE WAKE UP CALL: LISTENING TO THE SPIRITUAL CALLING ........ 9                                                 

 BREAKING OUT OF THE BOX ............................................................... 1 1                                              

PANDORA’S BOX ................................................................................... 2 1                                            

RELEASING THE FEAR ......................................................................... 2 5                                

UNDERSTANDING FROM THE OTHER SIDE ...................................... 3 1                                                                

A NEW UNDERSTANDING OF THE SPIRIT WORLD ........................... 3 4                                                    

SITTING IN SILENCE: LEARNING FROM SPIRIT ................................. 3 6                                            

STEPS TO RELEASING FEAR TO GAIN EMPOWERMENT .............. 4 8                                                

CREATING BOUNDARIES WITH SPIRIT .............................................. 5 3                                          

POSITIVE FEELINGS = HIGHER FREQUENCY ................................... 5 6                                      

PROTECTION AND SHIELDING ........................................................... 6 1                                              

OPENING AND CLOSING TO SPIRIT .................................................. 6 5                                            

GROUNDING ......................................................................................... 7 0                                                   

 JUDGEMENT ......................................................................................... 7 5                                            

FINDING SUPPORT IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES ............................... 8 6                                                  

MEDITATION .......................................................................................... 8 8                                             

TRUSTING YOURSELF ......................................................................... 9 2                                        

CONCLUSION......................................................................................... 9 6                                                

ABOUT THE AUTHOR ........................................................................... 9 9




I would like to express my special thanks to my husband, Robert, for all the support and the love with all the crazy things spiritual that he doesn’t understand. You push me to continue even when the going gets tough. Thank you for supporting me in all my adventures.

This book was written in honor of my brother, Mike. He has never given up, even after his passing. I thank him for helping me to create the woman I am today. He keeps pushing, even from the other side. I am eternally grateful.

To my kids, Chelsie, Kaden, Alex, and Kaylee. You are my light and my reason I push to new levels. Your lights shine bright, and you all have so much to offer this world. Keep shining.

And, to my readers and clients, may you all see that no matter what the obstacle, we can all rise above. There is always something to hope for.



I am a medium, which means I talk to souls that

have passed from this physical existence. It hasn’t been an easy journey to embrace this life for myself. Before I realized what was going on, I thought I was crazy and just losing my mind. I was afraid and frustrated. The day I found out that I wasn’t crazy and that the voices I was hearing were the voices of spirit was the day I knew I needed to share my experiences. I knew I wanted to write a book.

I have written this book so many times in my head. It is such an amazing feeling to finally have it on paper. I have such a desire to help people fill the voids they may not even know they have, and to be a voice of truth for the spirit world.


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I didn’t know I had a goal to give spirit a voice until my own coming out of the closet happened – the spiritual closet. Coming out of the spiritual closet was a frightening and empowering experience, but one that I will forever be grateful for. Learning to talk to spirit has changed my life for the better. It has added depth and understanding to my life that I didn’t know would ever be possible and has brought me so much peace, because I now understand that spirit lives on forever.

Writing this book has been a true labor of love, one I would do again and again. Knowing that I have had the pure opportunity to serve, to create, and to empower others brings great gratitude to my heart. My wish is that as you read this book, you will feel the magic I have felt all these years. I hope you surrender into the words, allow healing and peace to envelop your life, and understand that you, too, can find joy, less judgment, and more love in this world. May you know that you have the power inside for a change. You, too, can embrace spirit.

We all have everything inside us that we need; we just need to allow it to flow. This book illustrates that perfectly. We all can move from confusion to


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triumph, and from misery to bliss. You are here to empower yourself and to love.

Know that no one is ever earning their way to be part of the physical world. We are here, in this world, to learn, to grow, and, most importantly, to experience. Like me, you may be able to experience life through the eyes of spirit. What a gift it is to understand and see the magic that comes from the healing power that spirit has to offer, for you and for others around you.

My goal is for all who touch this book to feel, know, and trust there is love for us from the other side. I will continue to ever inspire and encourage all that I encounter, always to leave them better than I found them. I will encourage others to push past the fear and to embrace love - love of self and love for others. I will always encourage each person to push past the ego into the true reason we came here to live - to love!

Writing this book has brought much clarity to my life and my healing process. It has allowed interaction with spirit to become a daily thing in my life, not a fearful thing, but an amazing magical experience. I will forever be grateful for this ability


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in my life.

I know that my purpose is to help others be grateful for their abilities to talk and hear spirit, and to no longer be afraid or frustrated by these gifts. Opening to the process of talking and listening to spirit and letting go of the fear and stigma associated with it can seem daunting; but I promise, in the end, it will be worth it.



At the start of this journey, it may be tough to understand what you are feeling. Being sensitive to spirit is confusing at times. I have questioned many times whether it was really a spirit that I saw or felt, or whether I was just going crazy. It took me a long time to understand what I was really feeling and what it meant. Learning to see the signs and understand what to do with them takes time. But with time and practice, you will know exactly what to do. I have learned and so can you. To start off, let’s look at some of the common feelings and signs of being sensitive to spirit.

Common symptoms of spirit sensitivities are:


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  • Random anxiety with social situations
  • Depression
  • A need to be alone
  • Feelings of sadness
  • Struggling with boundaries
  • Suddenly feeling sick, headaches, or an upset stomach when you walk into a room
  • Unexpected feelings of hot and cold
  • Feelings of being watched
  • Seeing things out of the corner of your eye, only to look, and nothing is there
  • Told you think too much or are way too sensitive
  • Seeing things you cannot explain. When you try to tell someone you know, you’re told that you are crazy and just imagining things
  • Have dreams you just can’t shake or explain
  • Afraid to be alone
  • Frequently tired or exhausted
  • Feel you don’t fit in and that you’re different than everyone else
  • Feel lonely, even though you have many good people around you
  • Afraid to tell those around you what you see, hear, or feel because of judgment or religious beliefs Does any of this sound familiar? Welcome to my


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world. Welcome to living the life of a Natural Born Psychic Medium.

Many Natural Born Psychic Mediums are on high alert all the time. Emotions are all at the extreme. Joy is over-joy, and depression is the lowest of lows. Throughout my journey of self-discovery, my mediumship abilities have brought me to where I am today which is happy and thriving in the world. I now have a sense of peace, and trust spirit 100 percent. No longer do I live with fear of what spirits may do, or what they can do, because I know spirit isn’t here to hurt me or to scare me. Spirits just want their messages shared.

You can find this peace too. I’m sharing my story in hopes that no one lives in fear. We live in a society where death has become an illusion, a bad thing. Spirits have been made to seem evil. I’m here to shake it up a bit and tell you they are not. Spirit is everywhere and there are many people just like me that can hear them, feel them, and see them. Learning to manage this ability not only gives the Natural Medium a sense of control, but also a place to live in this world where their true colors can be shown with ease.


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Let’s take your greatest fears and turn them into the best outcomes. It is time to connect to spirit, learn to decipher their messages, and find peace in a world that tells you that you’re different. We live in a world where we ARE different. Different is good.



As a sensitive person in this physical world,

we all come to a point in our lives where we must decide to wake up or to keep living the life we are living. Whether we know it or not, we all get the call. Some heed the calling and reap the rewards. Those who ignore it find themselves feeling lost and unfulfilled.

I’m a fighter. Things of a spiritual nature do not require you to fight, but do require you to allow and to surrender. The art of allowing is one that


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takes courage, great strength, and love. Fighting it only makes it harder.



I was born in a small rural town in Utah called

Vernal. It’s a place where big Christian families are part of the culture, and my family fit right into that mold. I was raised in a very religious home along with my 5 brothers and sisters.

My brother Mike and I were close. We were also very close in age, 21 months apart. We were known for playing in the mud together and making huge messes. We also liked to play tricks on my older brother. He was easily talked into all sorts of mischief, so that was an easy way to get a few laughs, all in good fun, with the siblings. We worked well together, causing lots of trouble, and backing each other up with my parents. We never


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divulged who the ringleader was. Of course, it was Mike’s fault if anyone is asking.

I spoke to Mike often after he had moved out of the house. He had struggled in his teen and early adult years. Drugs became an issue for him. He was also married very early, only to have it end with her leaving him for an ex-boyfriend of hers.

This all took place in my senior year in high school. Three weeks before my graduation, Mike took his own life. He was 19 and his passing hit our family hard. My parents have never recovered to this day, and we rarely speak of his passing in family situations. Because of our religious background, suicide was considered a sin.

Mike passed away in May of 1991, and I moved out directly after. I needed to find my own way and have my own life without the rules of family and church. A young girl that never really had freedom, I spent the next year finding and capturing my independence and living outside the box.

At the age of 19, I became pregnant. The ridicule and judgments from my family and church has always been interesting and heartbreaking to me.


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As you can imagine, my parents were mortified and wanted to hide the whole thing. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or LDS Church, it is important to have children born to a temple worthy family. In the LDS Church, they believe that going to the temple and making vows to God gets you back into Heaven. Being married in the LDS Temple is viewed as a steppingstone to the hereafter.

A single mom, pregnant out of wedlock, was not very temple worthy in the eyes of my parents or the LDS Church. My parents wanted to send me away until the baby was born, and then have me give it up for adoption. I said no. This baby was mine, no matter what, and I was determined to raise her the best I knew how. Many called it a mistake, but I called it pure love. I have always been one to question the rules, and fight for what I believed was right. In this case, I knew I was right.

My oldest daughter was born in November of 1992, and I enjoyed our time together. I decided to go back to church and make my family happy by embracing the beliefs of the church again. I thought this would bring me happiness. It, of


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course, did not. Living for others will never bring happiness. I have learned this lesson many times and it appears to be a theme for my life.

Around this time, weird things were happening. I heard conversations of people that were not there. I don’t know what the conversations were about, but I remember very distinctly hearing voices and seeing spirits in my room. I felt different; I was different. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I tried to be part of groups, but my life seemed to just be strange compared to the lives of my friends. I never told anyone. I kept my secret hidden for many years, because I knew it would not be taken well in our family or in our church. I didn’t understand what was going on or what it meant. I didn’t even have a name for it. It was just how it was. I had never known or been around anyone that saw things or felt things like I did. I just knew that I saw the world through different eyes and that I felt things very differently.

The truth is that I have seen and heard spirits most of my life. My earliest recollection happened around the age of ten. I didn’t understand what the feelings were at the time, but looking back,


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I have been able to put the pieces together and understanding has come.

Life carried on, as it does. I met my amazing husband, Robert, and we married in May of 1994. We had our first child together in June of 1995. My husband adopted my oldest daughter two weeks before our son was born. This was a great time in our lives. Newly married with two beautiful kids, we just were enjoying our time together.

My awareness of spirit has been very powerful at times in my life and quiet in others. Soon after we settled in, spirit became very evident in my life again. This was frightening to me. The voices became very loud. I could hear conversations in my baby monitor and people talking to me, although I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I was feeling spirit closer, up close and personal. I could feel the weight of them on my chest. Sometimes it felt as though they were actually touching me.

Sheer fear of the magnitude of spirit at this time ripped through me. The spirits were everywhere, and I could feel them particularly in my alone time. It was overwhelming, almost more than I could take.


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I was sure my house was haunted. Coming from a church background, I asked for help, and was told my house needed to be blessed. I was told that evil was there, and that my brother, because of where he went when he passed (HELL) was not in a good place, and was trying to tempt me to do wrong. That felt so wrong to me. The kind, loving brother I knew would never ask me to do anything I didn’t want to do. I did have some people from the church bless the home, but that didn’t make anything go away.

During this time, I felt the familiar feelings of depression creeping in. I had struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for as long as I could remember. My infant son at the time had been a difficult baby. He cried all the time and my patience was running thin. I was not sleeping well, and my daytime hours were filled with things that I couldn’t talk to anyone about. When I would get up with my baby at night, I could feel that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t understand it. I just knew that someone or something was there.

As our lives got busier, it was easier to tune things out. As I tuned things out with busy work, I was


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able to cover up the feelings I was feeling and the things I was hearing. I used my perfectionist ways to stay busy. The house had to be clean. The rugs were washed, the beds made, and the dishes always done. The floors were mopped, the kids cleaned, and to-do lists a mile long were attended to all to shut out the noise. It always worked for a while.

My husband is an engineer and building is something he enjoys. We were expecting our third child and building a new house for our family. This was a stressful time. My depression seemed to be swallowing me up. I looked around and knew I had so much to be grateful for, and still I was miserable. I had an amazing husband, two kids with one on the way, my health, and so much abundance in our lives; yet, all I could think about was misery. I would beat myself up every day. I thought, “If I was stronger, not weak, I could kick this.”

In October of 1998, our third child was born. Two weeks later we moved into our new house. My husband deserves the golden hubby award for patience. How he survived me, the house, the delivery of a baby, and still wanted to stay married to me, I will never know. And, after all that, I


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found out I was expecting baby number four, a girl. She was born in March of 2000. She was very unexpected, but very loved.

Having two kids that close together left little time to figure me out. I was burning the candle at both ends, taking care of running two older kids around, and trying to keep up with two babies. I was keeping my perfectionist self very busy to shut the demons up in my head. I thought if I stayed busy, I could drown out the road noise. I worked out for a few hours every day. I kept a very clean house, yes, down to the rugs, floorboards, bathroom corners, and God forbid, if the kids ever got dirty. Every day, I stayed busy just so that my head would shut up.

I was afraid a lot at night, because this is when I felt the most activity. I had been an anxious child, and it was continuing into my adulthood. I was full of fear of the unknown and growing ever tired of the daily situation of something I had no words for. Up to that point, I had never heard of a Medium nor had I ever heard of talking to spirits being something that someone would do. I knew nothing about empaths or being sensitive to energies. And, truthfully, because of my upbringing in a religious


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home, I was afraid to find out. I thought if I became more religious, it would go away. Boy, was I wrong.

I was now in my early thirties, and I had a strong desire to study the religion (LDS) that I had been dedicating my life to. I had been taught that happiness and peace came from service in the Lord and church. I remember sitting in church one Sunday and thinking, “I have never decided anything for myself. Why don’t I once and for all make sure this is for me!”

I decided to do just that. I read anything and everything I could find. I studied a book in the LDS religion that is viewed as part of the scriptures called The Book of Mormon. This book is viewed as the only true book of scriptures. I spent five years going through this book, page by page, story by story. The more I read, the more I wanted to run from the religion I had always known.

And so I did. I filed my resignation with the church. In the LDS church you must ask for permission to have your name taken off the records of the church. The one thing I realized in all this study was that religious beliefs are all about keeping


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people afraid, and I was tired of fear. I was tired of living scared. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew this part of my life was over. It was time to open the box, jump out of the fear, and into the light.



In 2007 I met an amazing lady named Becky. She was everything I wasn’t. She was my full arm tattooed, swearing, occasional drinking, and free- spirited friend. I had been in a religion that had so many things that were looked down upon. There were so many things we couldn’t do, or, I should say, we shouldn’t do. Some of these included drinking, smoking, or doing drugs of any kind. Drinking coffee was deemed bad for you, as was premarital sex, and the list goes on and on.

And, there was Becky living a free-spirited life. She was living a life free of the rules that I had felt were placed on me. Our kids had met at school and so it was inevitable that we would meet. It didn’t take


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long for us to become very good friends.

Becky started talking to me about meditation, energy healing, and the spiritual side of life. At first, I assumed spiritual meant religious, but I soon realized I had a lot to learn. She showed me how to use a pendulum to clear my energy. This was a new concept to me. Clearing my energy? Why would I ever do that? But my curiosity took over. I was hungry and just wanted to learn.

I learned so much that I became an expert at energy clearing. I now refer to this lovingly as “Old School Clearing”, because while I was learning, I clearly remember thinking, “I’ve done this before; I’ve been here before.” It all felt so natural as though it had always been a part of me.

Clearing your energy with a pendulum goes something like this. Hold the pendulum between your thumb and index finger allowing the cord or chain to hang about 4 to 6 inches. Using yes or no questions, you allow the pendulum to swing. It will use your energy field to move. Hold still and allow it to go.

The first thing you should ask it is, “What is my


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yes? What is my no?” so that you can get a baseline for which way the pendulum will swing for you. We are all different. My pendulum swings left to right for no and front to back for yes. But whatever it is for you is fine. Then I like to ask it, “Is my name Gina? (You will insert your name when asking.) This gives you a good base line to see if you are getting the right answers.

To clear your energy, ask, “Do I have living energy in my energy field?” If you get a yes, ask that it be cleared. I spin the pendulum, and then hold my arm still until the motion stops. Then you can ask if you have spirit energy in your energy field. If no, move on. If yes, do the clearing, allowing the pendulum to spin until it stops.

You can ask a wide range of questions. I do suggest that you keep it to questions about you. You are using this tool to read your energy meaning asking about your boyfriend to see if he is having an affair is pointless, as it will read what you are thinking. Honor the energy and stay in your own lane.

For me, in my clearing ritual, I will ask if I have living energy with me, which always is a yes, (YUP I’m a sensitive person), and then I ask if I have


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spirit energy which is always a yes as well.

For those of you who don’t know, living energy is the energy of other living people who are around you or that you are aware of. For example, you may be aware that your daughter is going through a tough time and you feel her worry. That’s living energy. Spirit energy is the energy of those who have passed away. They are spirits of those who walked on earth but are no longer with us.

When I was clearing my energy every day, sometimes multiple times a day, I began to realize how much spirit is active around me. My emotions and feelings went crazy when spirit was around. I noticed that when I would feel things that made me so nervous that I wanted to puke, it was spirit. I was learning that my feelings were not my own, but someone else’s. It was an amazing discovery!

My curiosity grew, and I began researching every avenue of this topic. With the dawning age of the internet, online information was still sparse for things of this nature; but, spirituality was coming out of the woodwork, and so was I.



As I was learning to tap into my abilities, my

mind was opening. Practicing meditation was key in opening my world up to new possibilities and new ideas. I spent a lot of time in quiet. I began asking questions. I was finally allowing myself to feel and commune with spirit. The more I connected, the more I realized I had been connected all the time. I noticed I was constantly on all the time meaning I had a wide-open door to spirit 24/7. It was exhausting, which wasn’t new. I had always been tired.

I still was not sleeping, and my anxiety, even though I now understood why I had it, was at an all-time high. My kids needed me and pulled at my energy.


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All the while, the chatter in my head never stopped and even seemed to get worse.

The spirits knew I could sense them. I began listening, and OH MY, it was unreal the amount of activity I was feeling. Still, I had no idea who the hell was talking to me. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or if it was real. My connections were growing every day, but the understanding wasn’t coming. I had opened a box I didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to close.

I was trying to learn new ways to get a break and feel in control, and nothing was working. Listening to my kids, husband, and the constant chatter in my head was too much. No wonder I tried to drown it out for so many years with busy work. Drinking was sounding fantastic these days! I couldn’t seem to keep my head above water.

I was working on healing myself at this time. I had taken Dr. Brown’s course on Emotion Code, and I was doing this work daily. Emotion Code, according to Dr. Bradley Brown, is the simplest way to release emotional baggage or trapped emotions. He believes that our physical pains are caused by these trapped emotions. Using his


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method of muscle testing allows the body to release the emotions and allows your body to heal itself naturally. After completing his class, I have also gone on to complete his practitioners’ course. His work is very well known, and seems to be very effective.

It certainly was effective for me. During this time, my healing abilities were also waking up. Not only could I talk to the dead, but I could hear the living as well. Some people are sensitive to the energy of the people around them. They can walk into a room and suddenly have a headache, because someone in the room has a headache. The person that has the headache will feel better, but the sensitive person will feel sick.

Simple trips to the store can be overwhelming for a person sensitive to living energy. It is confusing if you don’t understand what’s happening because the physical pains of others become your own.

Learning to protect the energy field is crucial for sensitive people. Many sensitive people can become sick over time due to the excess energy in their bodies. The sensitive person is a natural healer and unknowingly is healing all the time. I had


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been doing this all along. I called and beckoned people in, so that I could take away their pain. I felt miserable while others around me felt fantastic. I couldn’t go to the grocery store, because I would hear and feel everyone’s thoughts and pains. I hated leaving my house. The excitement of figuring me out had faded into a sadness and worry that I was never going to just be ok.

One afternoon, I was home alone and particularly annoyed. I had been crying for no reason, and I was afraid. I was feeling spirit again. Spirits were all over my house, and I had no idea who they were. It was like Grand Central Station in my home – a constant revolving door of spirits coming in and out. I was clearing my energy and doing what I had been taught, but nothing was making them go away.

I remember feeling like I was in a horror movie. I would move; they would follow. I could see spirit in my mind’s eye, right up in my face. I would go into another room, and spirit would be there. It was the most unnerving feeling I can ever remember, a lot like the feelings I had after my brother passed in my other house. I remember going into my


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bedroom and yelling, “This is my space. Leave me alone!” The energy felt panicked, and I was feeling panicked like I had never felt before. No matter what I did, it followed me wherever I went.

I had appointments that day, and I hadn’t showered yet. I went in my room and shut my door, yelling at spirit to just let me be. I turned on the shower, got undressed, and stepped in. I was praying for peace, praying for guidance, and praying for it to just go away.

I was rinsing out my hair when my shower door made the most horrendous sound. It was like someone or something hit the shower door! I was home alone and no one was in my house but me, (and apparently the whole spirit army). I opened the door fast, grabbed my towel, and ran out.

Not knowing what else to do, I called my beautiful friend Becky. I was frantic; I was crying; and I was done with spirits. I wanted my old life back of not knowing what they were and shutting them out. I said to her, “I can’t do this anymore.” This is when my beautiful friend said, “Let me call you back.”

What the hell? I’m sobbing and she says she’s going


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to call me back?

I sat down in my towel, a heap of a mess, and cried. I noticed the feelings letting up. Things were becoming peaceful and beautiful. The energy was changing fast as tears of release began streaming down my face. I was confused, having no idea what just happened. Then, the phone, still in my hand, rang. “Hello,” I answered and I heard Becky say, “It’s your brother. It’s Mike.”

“Mike?” I questioned. “Why in the hell would he do that?”

Mike? I was so confused. That frantic feeling? That feeling of fear? And sheer panic? It felt evil and scary, not like Mike. She said, “Let me explain.” And out came the most beautiful story. It is one I will never forget.



Becky was able to connect with Mike. He

explained to her that he never meant to scare me, but that he knew I could hear him. He just wanted to say he was sorry. He was excited after all these years that he would finally be able to connect with me. The franticness came from me not understanding the message he was sending. He had been trying for a very long time to give me a message, and the time had finally come.

He needed me to know that he was ok. He was not in hell, but right there with us. Right there trying to get his message across. Being a spirit has


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its downfalls in the communication world, and his frustration of not being understood got in the way.

He told Becky he was proud of me and the life I had created. It turns out that it had been him all these years, in my house, urging me to listen, and begging me to share his message. I would have been frustrated, too, if I had been him. He had waited twenty years to have his message heard. Now, that his message had been delivered, he was ready to move forward into the light. He just needed to say, “I’m sorry.”

After this experience, I had my first alcoholic drink in fifteen years. It was a huge relief, and a very overwhelming and an eye-opening experience. I gained understanding that I would have never gotten the message any other way. My brother had been trying to get through for years. He just needed to be heard. Thank God I had Becky. I believe Mike put her in my path to help me to understand. That day changed my life forever. I have never been the same since.

I have been in contact with my brother many times since then. He is one of my biggest fans in the spirit world. If I have someone that has taken their


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own life come through for a reading, I see Mike step in. He stands beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder. It’s his way of saying here you go; you got this; let’s get to healing!

This was the beginning of a new relationship with spirit. I learned so much that day, and I continue to learn more each and every day.



Having grown up in a very religious home, I had created many beliefs that were not serving me very well. Spirit communication was not looked upon as a noble thing to do according to the LDS church. It was considered a form of evil.

Devil worshiping was a big thing when I was growing up. Many preached that spirits were actually scary demons here to hurt you. I believed I was somehow doing something to cause this evil in my life. The more I noticed spirit, the more I felt as though I was doing something wrong. But, after feeling the peace from Mike and my experience


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of communicating with him, I had to rethink my beliefs. How could that ever be evil? How could the experience that brought me so much peace and healing ever be evil? If we are born here as a little innocent child, as it says in the bible, how can having the gift of being aware of spirit ever be evil? The truth is, it can’t.

Since then, I have spent many hours in meditation talking to spirit, and created a new relationship with the spirit world. I have learned many things. One of them is things are not as we think. After living in a box for many years, it was time to burn the damn box. I can proudly say today that there are no more boxes.

Opening up to the unknown has been one of my greatest learning experiences. The information I share with you doesn’t come from any book; it comes from my hours of sitting with spirit, my guides, and from cultivating a new open relationship with the unknown.



Meditation is a gift. It’s a way of learning to

connect with the things we can’t explain like the spirit world. It is a beautiful way to find the answers we seek and want to know more about.

One of the things I have asked for several times was to help me better understand the spirit world. Where did we come from? Why are we here? What happens when we leave this physical world and where do we go? Does life still carry on for a spirit? The answers are beautiful because when spirit speaks, it is delicious to hear. Spirit has helped me to understand life and to no longer be afraid.


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We all choose to come here of our own free will. We choose how we will come here, and what personality we will bring with us to help us along our learning path. Most importantly, we choose who will be with us in this lifetime. We are free to come here, or to not. It’s all a choice.

As a medium, I believe I chose this path. I was excited, but sent here blind so that I could learn to discover myself in a different and unique way. I was given an opportunity to spread the light, speak the story of spirit, and allow that relationship to blossom. Even here today, I can choose how I present this to the world, or even decide whether or not I want to present this to the world at all.

I have been told by spirit that this time is a time of awakening for many. I have seen this along my journey as I work with people. Many come to me seeking answers that they haven’t been able to find in other places. This is a time of opening up to new surroundings, and an opening up to spirit like never before. Many are seeking to understand the afterlife, and if and how they fit into that.

When we pass, it’s but a moment. A moment when one minute we are in a body, and the next


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we are looking at that body. If death happens fast, there can be a bit of confusion. Most describe it as walking into another room; a light comes on, and bam, there you go. That’s what we call death.

It doesn’t hurt to pass. The struggle leading up to leaving can be harder for some than others, however. When the time comes, the decision must be made to leave the body behind, and for some, this can be difficult. We are always in control, and our soul knows when it’s time to go, or if we still have work here to do and need to stay.

Some spirits describe the death experience as feeling alone at first, but others see family and friends there right away. I have asked about this and my understanding is that it depends on the beliefs of the soul. We are all greeted with great love and compassion. There is so much love for us all as we leave this physical existence and step back into the spiritual form. All spirits speak of this love. No matter the religion or the type of life we lived, we are all greeted with love. It is love beyond anything that the human mind can comprehend.

I had the amazing experience of sitting in this feeling of love one afternoon in meditation. I was


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wrapped in a very bright white light. With my eyes closed, I felt like bright lights had been turned on. I felt a warm blanket wrap me up in the most peaceful, loving, and compassionate feeling I have ever felt. I was told that the human body could not take it all in; I was given what I could handle.

The peace and contentment I felt that day was beyond anything I have ever experienced before that day, and I have never experienced that again. These feelings of acceptance and love are very calming to the newly passed soul. Some are a bit frightened by these feelings if they have not learned to receive love from others. But this is very rare.

At the time of death and just after, they still are very much in a human state. This is called the mental body state. They also still feel the heaviness and denseness of the human body. They are still having a lot of emotions, just like we experience every day.

I have many people call me right after the passing of a loved one asking me about activity in their home. As spirit passes, they are still in this state of mental body consciousness. Things might feel a little frantic for the spirit. The passed soul is trying


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to let their family know they are still there and very much alive and well. The frantic feeling I describe is just the awareness of the spirit anxious to let you know they are now in an energetic form, but still there and still alive.

My understanding is that the heaven we describe and talk about in religious beliefs is right here. Spirit doesn’t leave but has different levels of consciousness that are obtained as healing happens. In the case of my brother, he had beliefs about hell that made him afraid to move forward as a spirit. He feared damnation. This is why he hung around so long in this mental state after he passed. As part of his healing, he also needed to be heard, to let me know he was OK, to say he was sorry, and to let me know he loved me and my family. I know he tried to contact my other family members as well. He just needed and wanted to be heard so that his healing could begin.

After a time, when spirit is ready, there is what I would call a life review. This is not to assign judgment, but to review the life lived. I have been told it consists of life before this physical consciousness and the physical life that was just


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lived. A review is done with our guides, family, angels, and anyone that was prevalent in our life mission here.

The life review is about going over the things we chose to work on while on earth. We review how we treated family, friends, and coworkers. It is not about right or wrong so much as bringing up the list of things the soul wanted to accomplish in this lifetime, and then assessing themselves as to the work they did.

This is where the contracts and karmic responsibilities come into play. There is so much that goes into this assessment that I could write a whole book on it. The important thing to know is that it is not a God judging the soul, but rather a loving assessment and understanding of situations we had with people that were in our lives. We get to see the roles that others played for us, especially in the difficult relationships we had here on earth. Then, we see if the karmic responsibility has been met. It is not about man’s understanding of judgment in a religious setting. It’s more about how we showed up in our life. I have been shown we will make our own judgments and assumptions


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on the life work we did. We may feel the need to fix the things that we left undone.

This is where a medium can be beneficial. In the case of my brother, he had some work to do. Leaving the physical world by suicide created complete devastation for those left behind. I had made my peace with my brother, but he needed to make peace with others in the family. I have tried to help him with this to the best of my ability and with those that are living to the degree they will allow.

I have also been shown that hell is not a place, but rather a space we may be in after passing. In my brother’s case, and with many other spirits I have spoken with, if the soul caused their own passing, either directly or indirectly, they may live in their own hell for a time. Imagine being a spirit watching your family and loved ones come to terms with a passing of this nature. It would be hell to realize your choice caused that suffering. I know it was hell for my brother.

Living in spirit form is much like living in the physical, but without restraints. Spirit can be in many places at the same time, or just one,


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depending on the need. We, as humans, have a hard time understanding that. I have heard many times, “If my dad is with my sister, he must love her more”. Or, “I never feel dad (or mom), so they must not be around.” Our loved ones are always close and helping us to heal, to carry on, and find a new way of being in the world. They are always looking for ways to let you know they are close. We just miss the signs.

One of the jobs of spirit is to help those they love deal with their passing. I have had some amazing stories been told to me by clients about the way their loved ones have tried to connect. I have been able to give countless messages of continued support and love from the other side. Some of my favorite stories come from my neighbor who lost her husband, Ivan, in a tragic, sudden accident. He has come to me many times to help his sweet wife and family deal with his sudden and tragic passing. He continues today to be ever present in their lives as they learn to pick up the pieces and move forward.

Ivan’s wife, Kathy, shared this story with me. It was Ivan’s birthday and Kathy had been feeling


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particularly saddened and angry that he left her behind. There had been lots of things going on in the lives of the kids and the family, and she just wanted him there to support her and tell her it was going to be ok. They had always had each other to lean on, and now, Kathy was feeling alone. As she was getting ready for the day, she had been crying, telling him she needed a sign, something, anything to let her know he was with her, and that he was OK.

She began yelling at him, telling him to blow the drapes, make them move, do something, anything to let her know he was with her. Just then, she happened to notice her cell phone on the bed. It was ringing. When she looked down, she saw Ivan’s name on her phone, ringing for her! She answered and said hello, and no one was there.

She hung up only to have it ring again. Again, Ivan’s name was right there staring her in the face. With gratitude in her heart she thanked him, and she was able to move forward knowing he was with her, and that he cared about her feelings. Their love still carries on; it never died. To this day, that number has never came up on her phone again.


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This is just one example of how spirit works in amazing ways to help us see we are never alone.

Also, spirit wants you to know that it is never disappointed in you. As humans, we sometimes think that our loved ones must be disappointed in us for the decisions we have made since their passing. One of the things I have come to understand is that spirit knows you have your right to live life as you see fit. They are not allowed to interrupt or butt in unless you ask. They never will take away your free will to live. As spirit passes through the life review, a new understanding comes to them. They no longer see things through the eyes of judgment, but only through the eyes of pure love. All judgments wash away in the afterlife.

They still do not know everything; I used to think they did. But they will see the truth behind your feelings, your attributes, and your understanding of life. This comes in handy with regards to the instances of misunderstanding or butting of heads you may have had while you were both together in the physical world. I have heard stories of loved ones never getting along in life, with one or the other always feeling judged. Then, it comes out in


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a reading how proud the spirit is of the loved one, and how much they wished they would have told them while they were living.

When the passed soul comes to this realization, a beautiful healing finally occurs for both parties involved and allows for the living person to move on, feeling a new sense of peace with the passing of their loved one.

Spirit may have lots of healing to do on the other side. They continue to grow and develop as they move through the process of releasing the mental body and into a higher state or frequency. I won’t go into this too much in this book, as there are several layers of consciousness that we grow and mature into on the other side. But know that those that left this world are always evolving and growing on the other side.

I believe this physical life is but a small part of our existence. There is much we don’t see and don’t understand at the physical level. Just be open.

Being open and curious to the unknown will bring you to a greater understanding of yourself, and to the world we live in. Everything is energy. You’re


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energy; I’m energy; and, we are ever evolving and changing. Nothing is as it seems, and it is always changing for our best so that we may continue to move forward in our journey.

Learning these spiritual truths has helped me understand death and souls in a very different light. Understanding the process of death of the physical body and seeing the soul take on a new light has taken away both my fear of spirits and of death. Understanding the process and educating myself with the world of spirit has let me know that spirits are just souls, just people, that have feelings, have regrets, and have love to still share. There is no death. Death is an illusion, a physical illusion for those of us in the physical world.



Whether you were born with the ability to be aware of spirits, or you have had something happen later in life that opened the portal for you, it is very common to have fear, including fear of spirit and the fear of not knowing where the feelings you sense are coming from. It can be hard to tell whether these feelings are yours, spirit’s, or someone else’s. What I do know is that learning to feel where these feelings are coming from is crucial in discovering and releasing the fear associated with your abilities.


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When we let fear be in charge, it creates doubt. We may think the feelings come from something evil or angry. Most of the time the feelings are misread. It is natural to misread spirit when you are first learning how to navigate your abilities. In order to find the control you need, you must rise above the fear and move into curiosity. Curiosity takes away the anxiety and brings you to an openness. Then, you can determine what the feelings really are.

Fear of the unknown makes you think the spirits are demons, but they aren’t. When people with abilities are asked what they fear the most, they all say it’s the fear of the unknown that is the scariest thing.

Fear of not being able to see with the physical eyes what the spirit is showing them can be frightening. In fact, not being able to see the spirit that you know is there is frightening too. If you push back the fear, true understanding can come like you have never thought possible. You can gain the control and confidence needed to carry on with your life. Then, you can have your life and be able to live a life with spirit as well.


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In my development process, I have been able to study with two beautiful Soul Mediums - Lou Beecher and Lillian Suarez. Lillian talks about the life of the soul and helping it to heal. One of my favorite activities that she has shown me is to sit in the quiet. I usually do this work while I’m sitting in an Epsom salt bath. Epsom salts dissolved in a bath have amazing energy clearing qualities. I take an Epsom salt bath at least one day a week to clear my energetic body and release the stress of life. As I sit in the quiet, I open myself up to spirit.

Later in the book, you will learn to open and close your energy field. To open, I simply set my intention to open all my chakras and spill my colors to the spirit world. I invite anyone to step forward that would like to just chat. By the way, spirit doesn’t care if you’re in the tub or not, so don’t think it’s weird. They are energy and communicate energetically; it’s not like they see you naked or anything.

Anyway, I allow spirit to tell me whatever they choose. They are free to discuss anything. They can tell me their secrets, their greatest


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accomplishments, and their biggest heartaches.

Seeing spirit in this light reminds me that they are someone’s grandma, grandpa, sister, or child, and it fills me with deep respect for them. Hearing their stories has brought me peace in knowing they have hearts of gold and feelings too.

I have been able to hear the most amazing stories this way. Hearing them and not judging them for the life they have lived is critical. Just allow yourself to listen to spirit. See what they are sending you. You will come to love them when you understand that life was hard for them too, and that they are just looking to be heard.

I usually hear something like “I can’t tell my family I felt this way, but I did.” I always make a point to remind them that they did the best they knew at the time, and that is all anyone can ask for. We all make choices, and spirit is no different. The true gift is sending them love and healing, and allowing them to speak from their deepest soul. Doing this has given me the greatest respect for spirit.

Remember, the trick is to release the fear and go


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into curiosity. This is an amazing exercise. Feel free to try it. If you don’t understand what information you are getting, feel free to ask them to help you understand. They will work with you. All you need to do is ask.



Creating boundaries is critical when engaging

with spirit. As you create boundaries with spirit, spirit in turn will have a new understanding of you. Mutual respect is created, and a new relationship can blossom. Not creating these boundaries leaves one feeling open, vulnerable, and afraid. Without them, it will seem as though you are unable to control anything.

How do we set up boundaries? The best way I know is to make a list of what you would like and what you would not like. For me, a boundary I made with spirit in the beginning was NO touching.


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I would often be woken up in the middle of the night with a feeling of someone touching my hand. I hated that. I would wake up startled, and then the fear would creep in. Simply asking the spirit to stop should suffice. I also wrote a letter to spirit letting them know my rule was no touching at night.

Even though it is common, spirit isn’t actually touching you. Spirit is energy. They have memories and an energy field. They are using their energy to tell your brain that you’re being touched, but no one is physically touching you. Even if you have a spirit that is strong and forceful, asking them to stop and respect the space is usually enough to calm the situation down. Please do not feel as though they are in charge. You are in charge of your space; and therefore, asking for your space to be cleared or your wishes to be honored is enough. I promise, most spirits will abide by your requests.

Early on in my awakening, I would feel lots of touching. I remember several times at events when I was a wedding photographer feeling touched. I felt as though I was being poked and tugged at by a small child. These are all normal sensations, but if you do not want to be touched, please ask that it


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stop. I did ask for it to stop, and it did. Now, I am no longer bothered by this common problem.



To live in fear of spirit is to live a life feeling

very vulnerable to the unknown. Ignorance is not bliss in this case. With the good comes the bad. There are spirits that choose to live a life of anger, sadness, and bitterness, just like some humans do. I choose not to dwell on this subject too much, but it is something that needs to be addressed in case you encounter it.

Spirit can only do what YOU ALLOW. If you are in a depressed state, afraid, or in fear, you open yourself up to allow spirits with similar energy to that in. The more fearful you are, the more fearful


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or scary spirits will find you. They will feed off of that fear.

Raise your vibration and bring yourself from fear to empowerment. You will then attract the spirits that are just like that. This is the way it is with all energy, and especially with spirit. Listening to music, finding motivational speakers, meditating, and exercising all are great ways to raise your vibration. Doing these types of activities will lessen the amount of lower energy spirits that bother you.

It’s no different than the people we attract in life. Like energies match up. Energy attracts like energy. If you are depressed, angry, or sad, guess what type of spirits or people you will attract? If you choose a life of joy, gratitude, and positive thinking, spirits that are joyful, in gratitude, and positive will find you. Asking for love and light in all you do and staying positive and in the light will allow you to work in this higher state of consciousness.

I experienced this when my world went crazy with spirit and I was still afraid. Demanding spirits, spirits that wanted me to be scared, and spirits that wanted me to feel small showed up. I would feel their impatience with me. Some yelled at me and


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told me that I had to do whatever they wanted me to. I would empathically pick up their fear and sadness, and then think these were my feelings, even though they were the spirit’s feelings. I learned to push those spirits away by raising my mood. You can too. Call in your guides for help. All you need to do is ask. This is what I would do in the beginning. I claimed my right as a person. I claimed my right to my space, my life, my home, and my family. Claim your space back. You have the right to live in your space spirit-free and unafraid.

Spirit now knows it is not to disturb my family life. When my kids were small, they were not to wake my kids up or disturb them in any way. We can all live in peace and harmony, but you must set up your rules, your boundaries, and then stick to them. Some spirits, just like people, needed a stricter boundary. Intention is everything here, and the key is not to waver or be afraid; know you are in charge, and state what you want.

Below are some examples of boundaries. Feel free to add to this list or take anything out that does not resonate with you.

  1. I choose to not be bothered by spirit


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between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am. (I have an exception here. If it’s my family and I need a message that I am missing during the day, I will allow it).

  1. I choose to have times where I will open to spirit as my life allows. I ask that spirit take a step back until I am open and ready to serve.
  2. I choose at this time to ask my guides and loved ones for help and to intervene in my life any way that they see fit to help me as I progress.
  3. No touching.
  4. I ask that my home be a safe haven for my family. I ask my guides to protect my home and my energy field.
  5. I ask that while I am learning that my guides keep my energy fields closed as much as possible for my best learning and growth.

I would like to note that I made the above boundaries list earlier on in my discovery. This list helped me to gain control and move into a


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more empowering space for myself and spirit. I now do not have any boundaries with spirit. As I have grown in all things spirit, I have realized that if I trust them, I know they have my back; and therefore, all things are for my good. No boundaries are needed.



As I have developed my mediumship and

healing abilities, I have learned different ways to protect and shield my energy. I have learned that protection and shielding has nothing to do with spirit, but with the energy around me in the physical world. I’m not protecting from the negative spirit energy, but the energy from the living world.

Learning to zip up your energy field is vital if you are wanting to commune with spirit. Living energy can be overwhelming to sensitive people and can make their bodies shut down if they are not careful.


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I have learned the hard way to take care of my energy so that I can in turn help others. You do not have to take on the feelings or emotions of others. Energy is meant to flow to you and through you, not to stay with you. When we are learning and are sensitive to energy, it is easy to get caught up and keep energy that isn’t ours to keep.

You can practice releasing energy every day. Bubbling up and shielding are vital in the development of one’s self. Some people are not as sensitive to the energy around them, but find as they start to develop their abilities, their sensitivity increases. Therefore, creating good spiritual hygiene habits now is a great idea no matter how sensitive you are.

My spiritual hygiene goes something like this. I shower every morning and use this as a sacred space for clearing my energy and bubbling up. As I shower, I am looking and picturing in my mind’s eye any energy I have picked up that isn’t mine or no longer serves me. I imagine it washing down the drain. I see it dark at first, and as it drains out, turning lighter in color. It can be whatever color you desire. Then, as I wash my hair and my body, I


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concentrate on healing anything that needs healing, clearing anything that needs clearing, and bringing my body back to its normal energetic state. I am clearing, aligning, and balancing. When it feels finished, I trust it is done. I step out of the shower into an imaginary bubble. This bubble surrounds me on all sides and goes under my feet as well. I zip up my energy, just like you would zip up your coat, and go about my day. I get dressed and carry on. I also have made clearing sprays with sage essential oils to use throughout the day. This helps to keep my energy clear and balanced.

At night, if I have picked up a bunch of energy, I notice it most often feels like anxiety. I see a pressure relief valve in my mind’s eye located wherever I feel the most energy. I watch as I unscrew the cap, and I imagine myself holding the valve open and just letting the energy go.

After I started working with clients in high energy sessions with spirit or healings, I began to notice I was carrying excessive energy. This can happen to anyone at any time. Whenever you experience anxiety, picture letting out that energy through a valve like you would release air from a tire. Hold


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it open until you feel the release. Put the lid back on your valve, just like you would on your car tire. There is no need to keep any energy that is not yours.

Setting your intention in these practices is a powerful thing. Set an intention to keep your energy field clear, and it will be. We are powerful beings; use that process of intention to your advantage.

With practice, you will notice excessive energy right away, and take care of the issue before it gets uncomfortable. You can also bubble up in an instant by stepping back into your bubble. You can also imagine zipping up your energy field. Just thinking it is enough to bring you back to the neutral state. Do whatever works for you. Setting your intention to keep your energy field clear is the whole purpose. Just do what feels best.



Spirit can only communicate with you when

your energy field is open. I wish I would have understood this early on in life. It certainly would have saved me from fighting spirit at the grocery store. There is nothing like listening to someone’s mom in spirit tell you that you must give her daughter a message NOW, while you try to tell her that you just want to get a carton of milk and go home! (True story by the way.)

How do we do this? How do we close our energy fields? It is quite simple, but you will need some background information first.


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We all have an energy field around us called the auric field, also known as the aura. I’m sure you have heard about it. We could spend much time here, but let’s just make it simple for now. The aura is the energy field around the physical body. It’s made up of energetic layers. Inside each of us, we have what is called the chakra system. The chakras are balls of energy that are attached to different parts of the body and are also attached to the layers of the energetic body (aura) outside of the physical body. Each chakra has a designated color and these colors are what spirit sees. Our colors go out into the spirit world like a calling card.

I remember asking spirit one day how the hell they are able to find me, and I was told my lights, or colors, shine like a beacon. This is how spirit finds mediums and sensitive people. If you think of yourself as a beacon, and you shine a bright OPEN sign 24 hours a day, spirits are going to come to you thinking you are open for business. Like an open or closed sign in your favorite coffee shop, if the lights are on, coffee is served, right? It is the same for spirit. When spirits see your colors, they approach. If your lights are shining bright, you are open to spirit! You may have unwittingly practiced being


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open your whole life.

Let’s learn to shut down the lights and have some down time. This will take practice, because your energy field is used to being open. Just know it won’t take long until opening and closing will become part of your routine. Staying open all the time is exhausting. Learning to close is an amazing feeling and, I promise, you will wonder how you ever survived before having this beautiful skill.

Here is how this works. I recommend that you read this through first, and then do the exercise after. You will need to be in a comfortable spot where you won’t be bothered for ten minutes or so. Sitting or lying down is great.

Close your eyes. Take a big deep breath. Let go of any stress, and really give yourself a minute to just be with you. Take some big deep breaths. Let your mind slow down, and just take a minute to really be present in this space. I want you to take notice of your brow area, the area right between your eyes and really concentrate on seeing with your spiritual eyes. Imagine your energy field. Notice all the beautiful colors around you. See the colors, and feel them. Notice if there are any places that may look


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dark or like the colors could use some help. Offer it that help, whatever it is. Don’t judge this process. I like to imagine a violet light coming through the light, healing all the places that need healing. Just allow this process to happen. If you are not visual, just feel the energy move through and trust it is happening for you. Just be present. You can imagine that you’re just watching it, noticing it. If anything doesn’t feel right, just allow it to move out. Thank it and allow it to leave. This is clearing your energy field. (You can clear your energy any time it’s needed from this space). Now, concentrate on your energy field. It should be brighter, as the clearing has taken place.

Now, go back and focus on the inhale and exhale. As you inhale, concentrate on your energy field, and as you exhale, concentrate on bringing your energy field closer to the body. Again, inhale and watch the aura as you do. Exhale; bring it in. Do this until the energy field is close and snug to the body.

Open your eyes. Notice how you feel. Most have a feeling of protection. We, as healers and sensitive people, tend to let the field stay naturally open. In the beginning stages, you may need to do this


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several times a day to keep the field closed, and your energy protected. Feel free to do this any time anxiety appears, when sudden feelings of fear arise, or any other time you just want to feel peace in your own space.



To be grounded means that you are feeling very

solid and sure of yourself. You trust yourself, and the decisions you are making. You have a sense of belonging and are feeling nurtured in the world. You know that whatever happens, you will be fine. You feel a sense of all is well with the world and with you.

Spiritual grounding is a practice that allows your energy to connect with the earth’s energy so that you can feel stable and focused. It is a practice of bringing yourself back to the present and feeling very in control and balanced. Grounding has also been called Earthing. It essentially means the same thing.